Love Is Complicated
by Cobalt-eyed Angel
Summary: Vash returns after the battle with Knifes. With every thing partially normal, Vash can’t stop his growing feelings for Meryl. Meryl is feeling the same, but every time Vash gets close to confessing, his first love; Rem enters his mind. With Vash being t
1. Default Chapter

Author's Note- Hey all. This is my first Trigun fic. So be kind ^^. I WUV my VASHIE!! But...I'll let the trigun cast of girls BORROW him. But he's mine! LOL. Ne ways...  
  
.~. Summary.~. Vash returns after the battle with Knifes. With every thing partially normal, Vash can't stop his growing feelings for Meryl. Meryl is feeling the same, but every time Vash gets close to confessing, his first love; Rem enters his mind. With Vash being tugged and Meryl's heart breaking things get worse. Knifes returns better than ever and looking for trouble. When everything is going downhill another surprise pops up. Could it be her? Vash's first love?  
  
A/N- There will also be a lot more happening that's just the basis. Ok Disclaimer: I do not own Trigun, any of the cast, the only thing that is mine is this story's idea. The quotes that Vash sometimes say are also going to be used in my story, and I did not come up with them. Whoever the hell made the anime owns them. ^^.  
  
Ok, anyone who actually read all this, I highly praise you! ^-^ Thanks and R&R!  
  
Love Is Complicated  
  
By: Cobalt-eyedAngel  
  
"My name is Vash the Stampede. I have been a hunter of peace who chases the mayfly known as love, for many, many moons now. There is no rest for me in my search for peace. I meditate diligently every morning (I quit after 3 seconds). In my search for peace, I also train diligently. It is my mission to teach the precious value of peace to the children who will one day own the world. I will say it again: My name is Vash the Stampede. I am a hunter of peace who chases the mayfly known as love."  
  
............................................................................................................  
  
The blonde haired man slowly let his tired body fall in a heap in front of the doorstep. "Meryl..." he choked out as he tried to pull himself up again. He had killed a man. Again. But, not just any man; his own flesh and blood: His Brother.  
  
/The first time wasn't your fault and this time wasn't either. It had to be done/ A voice echoed in his barely conscious mind.  
  
'Doesn't matter.' He thought bitterly. 'I did it. I DID IT.'  
  
/You were saving lives when you killed Legato, and you were saving lives (many lives, another voice echoed) when you killed Knifes. It had to be done/  
  
'Says who?! WHO?! If I knew who my parents were, they would disown me...Pssh, if I even HAVE parents. I could just be a bastard child, from some whore, maybe a plant whore. That would explain why I'm so dirty and disgusting. I'm a whore's child...'  
  
/Don't you dare say that!/ The first voice said harshly. /You are NOT a bastard child! You're true brother is Knifes, and your father and mother – whoever they were – loved you very much. I can tell by you're spirit, you're free and loving. And even though...even though you have taken a life, you will be forgiven because you have helped so many. You have to remember: you must keep living to protect those who have the will not to keep living. You are they're light and they need you/ There was slightly more the voice added, but it was a whisper and even Vash's keen sense of hearing couldn't pick up.  
  
*That's right Mr. Vash* The second voice chirped. *And we need you too. You're are friend*  
  
That sounded vaguely familiar... Vash gathered all the strength he had left and turned to his back. When his vision came to (well, except for the blurriness) he saw two figures looming over him.  
  
On his left, an small dainty angel seemed to stand. Her cropped luscious raven hair glowed in the light that came from behind her and her blue-grey eyes seemed to sparkle extra bright. Meryl...  
  
On his right, a tall figure stood. She was smiling one of her big smiles and seemed a bit smaller than Meryl. No, wait, that was because she wasn't as close. Meryl was still standing over him with a look of...worry?  
  
That confusing thought alone was able to send him into a deep sleep.  
  
Author's Note- Ok, this was just an opening. Hope you like it. BTW, rating might go up. We'll see. Please review! ^-^ 


	2. Chapter 1

Author's Note- Ok, hoping this will be longer than the last. We'll see. The disclaimer in the first chapter is enough right? Ok, that's what I thought. ^^  
  
Love Is Complicated  
  
By: Cobalt-eyedAngel  
  
"Whenever something is gained, something is always lost. It's difficult to live after something like that. What is lost will never return. Important things, irreplaceable things, but what is needed to keep those things is in the firm will packed into one bullet. Man knows, he knows nothing will begin unless he speaks, and that nothing will change, unless he moves."  
  
............................................................................................................  
  
Vash woke slightly dizzy to hear soft murmurs. At first, he thought it was just the hangover from getting wasted so he wouldn't have to deal with the...murdering situation. But when he sat up and opened his eyes, he found that it was a radio playing.  
  
He jumped out of bed and almost fell back down into the comfort of the quilts. Nope, THAT was the hangover. And this one was BAD.  
  
He clutched his head and tried to remember exactly where he was. A sudden image of a 20 year old woman with silky (he was guessing) raven hair. "Meryl...That's right, I went to see Meryl and Milly." He muttered speaking to himself.  
  
Suddenly his stomach growled. "Oh, you hungry, big boy?" he said trying to find fat to grab and emphasize his point, but to no avail. He then grinned again. "Well then let's go fill 'er up!!"  
  
He rushed out the door and paused to look in the small hallway the door had led him to. Then, letting his nose lead the way, continued towards the kitchen, which right now smelled an awful lot like...  
  
"Doughnuts!" He squealed like a child at a candy store. Which made a lot of sense, 'cause he was a 'child' (He learned this from the fact that Meryl keep telling him to grow up.) and doughnuts were good enough to be considered candy.  
  
He rushed into the room, and closed his eyes in sweet bliss and just took a long sniff of the delicious smell. He began drooling and practically floated towards the satisfying smell.  
  
He stopped when he heard a little girl giggle.  
  
He opened his eyes and blinked. Once. Twice. Then searched for the girl. He couldn't find her, suddenly Milly walked into the room.  
  
"Oh look, you're up!" A joyful Milly exclaimed from the doorway.  
  
"Mommy!" A four year old jumped out from behind the counter. "Who's that?" The little girl scampered to Milly and Milly giggled as she saw Vash's confused face.  
  
"Um, oh." Milly's worried face told all. She didn't want to frighten the little girl.  
  
"Neko." Vash said. He knew that the little girl wouldn't understand that Vash The Stampede was as harmless as a fly.  
  
So when Vash saw that black cat that seemed to follow him around (A/N- hehe, I lik that cat) every where, the first word that came to him was cat, which was also neko.  
  
"Kitty!" The little girl bounced up and down excitedly. "Hello Mr. Kitty, my name is Nikki!" She smiled a smile that was identical to Milly's.  
  
"Oh, you are..." He glanced up at Milly's sad face and then smiled down at the little girl.  
  
She was Nicholas' daughter. She resembled him greatly, with her pony-tailed black hair. The same black Nick himself had. She was small, came up to his knee. So Vash bent down and looked at the girl. He came face to face with Nick's dark blue eyes. They stunned him and his mouth hung agape.  
  
"Kitty! Kitty!" The little girl, Nikki, jumped on his back. She was so light that the only way he could tell she was actually there, was her excited shouting. "Piggy-bawk! Pig-bawk!"  
  
Vash smiled his patened goofy grin, latched his arms around her legs and took off. He twirled and jumped and spun around, getting faster and faster at her happy screams and jolly giggles.  
  
Vash came to a stop when he heard a women's voice.  
  
"Hey! Be careful, don't hurt her!" Meryl came into view at the top of the stairs. Vash quickly glanced around him to find himself in a small hallway next to the entrance and stairs.  
  
Vash bent down(slightly more dizzy than he started, even with his throbbing hangover) and Nikki slipped off his back. "Awww, Kitty Fun!! Mer-Mer, you know Kitty?"  
  
Meryl, known as Mer-Mer to Nikki, smiled down at her. "Kitty?"  
  
"You don't?!" Nikki cried excitedly, "Mer-Mer, this is Mr. Neko! That's Kitty!" She put a childishly plump finger up pointing to Vash's form. "Kitty! Kitty! Kitty!"  
  
"Ohhhh..." Meryl glanced at Vash. "Right, thank-you for introducing me to...Kitty" Meryl said with amusement in her voice.  
  
"Nicole Maple Wolfwood, come here right now!" Milly's gentle but upset voice drifted from the kitchen.  
  
"Uh-oh. What I do thins time?" Nikki said in her cute voice. Vash doubted if Milly would be mad long. Nikki quickly said g'morning to Meryl, kissed her on the cheek, then she smiled at Vash and hurried towards the kitchen.  
  
"What were you doing?!" Meryl yelled at Vash, once Nikki was out of the room. "Running around with a child on your back, acting like a maniac!"  
  
Meryl was the same. It was a comforting thought that brought a smile to his lips.  
  
"I wasn't going to drop her." Vash said trying to calm Meryl down.  
  
"It scared the hell out of me! It just..." Meryl was solemn now. "You have to take special care of things that are special to you...or your friends."  
  
Vash's smile slipped from his face and was now that rarely ever seen serious one. "How is she doing?" Vash asked.  
  
"Better since Nikki was born. But...sometimes when Nikki asks about HIM, it's hard for her." Meryl said solemnly.  
  
"Right." Vash nodded in a trance of thoughts.  
  
"Kitty!" They were awoken out of their deep conversation by the sound of Nikki's voice. "Mommy says it is breakfast time!"  
  
"After you Mer-Mer," Vash held out his arm in a gentlemen manor and smiled his maniac smile.  
  
"You have got to be kidding me Mr. Neko, I rather have a particular liking towards dogs." Meryl smirked at Vash and started towards the kitchen, "Come on Kitty-Kitty!" she called over her shoulder.  
  
Vash laughed, and now that he wasn't pre-occupied the scent of doughnuts hit his nose again. "Doughnuts!!" He dashed off and passed Meryl into the kitchen.  
  
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.  
  
After breakfast, the gang went to town to get groceries and let Vash get familiar with his surroundings.  
  
"Kitty, come on I'll show you my friends!" Nikki tugged on his arm and Vash looked at Meryl and Milly.  
  
"Have fun kids," Milly laughed.  
  
"Be careful!" Meryl called as they ran off towards a group of 5 other kids who's ages ranged from four to seven.  
  
"And this is Jetch, my best friend," Nikki pointed to a five year old boy with dark brown hair and a glare on his face. But when he looked at Nikki his face turned into a blushing smile. Vash smiled himself, Nick should've been here to see the boy that had a crush on his daughter.  
  
"This is Abigail, my other best friend," This time she pointed to a four year old with blonde hair and humongous green eyes. She had on a pale blue and green dress and smiled shyly at Vash.  
  
"How'd you get so tall? What's it like being so tall?" The kids all scrambled over him to get a view of what Vash was seeing. Vash started laughing till most of the kids were crawling over him.  
  
"Run! A dog is coming! It's scary!" A bunch of kids cried, and Vash felt several small sharp objects enter his bottom.  
  
"AHHHHH!" Vash yelped and began running with four kids holding on yelling happily and a couple more running behind them. Behind the gang of kids a dog bigger than the size of Nikki was chasing after them barking.  
  
Many of the town's people laughed as they saw a blob of kids and a man run around town screaming. Meryl and Milly's attention was averted away from their purchases to the kids and Vash and they started laughing.  
  
The laughter stopped as soon as five gunshots rang out through the entire town.  
  
The kids climbed off Vash and hid behind him as even the dog stopped scared. In the middle of Town Square a group of six men, each one uglier than the last, stood.  
  
"We hear there's a man called Vash The Stampede living here. Which one of you 'simple' town's folk owns that name?" What looked like the leader walked around the fountain, his gaze roamed the frightened crowd. The leader didn't even take a second glance at the goofy blonde-spiked haired man.  
  
"Hmm. No one is confessing boss, maybe we should just blow all their heads off and turn 'em all in?" The dirty short man spit out his words, and when he was finished he smiled a disqusting yellow evil smile.  
  
Milly and Meryl were across the Square from Vash and they both looked at him worried.  
  
"Now, now, Butcher, let's not get hasty. I got a way to get the sickening killer out of his hiding spot." He again looked over the crowd and a grueling smirk came to his lips. "Boys, each of ya pick the prettiest girl and when we find one or two, we'll threaten him out. Nobody, not even a killer, likes to waste a good women, when she can be used for...other things."  
  
The gang's eyes filled with lust and they shuffled through the crowd. Several of them headed toward Meryl, to Vash's serious disgust and disliking, but Butcher reached her first and yanked her back towards Boss.  
  
Meryl growled as she glared at the beastly thing that roughly grabbed her and shoved her at Boss. Her cold glare landed on him as his eyes slowly roamed over her body.  
  
"She'll do nicely," He stared at her for awhile longer then turned back to the crowd. "Here's a pleasing women for you Vash, looks mighty appetizing. You wouldn't want us to have the first taste now would you?"  
  
Vash growled and started to take a step forward, but Meryl stopped him with discreet warning glance.  
  
"Oh come on now, Vash. Perhaps you would like a full look at what you're getting? You are quite a smart man Mr. Stampede. "Go ahead Butcher, take off a piece of clothing until he finally decides that he likes what he sees."  
  
Before Butcher could even get her white coat half way off, which he noticed was actually quite heavy, Vash stepped in front of the town's folk and called out in a deathly cold voice. "Leave her alone, I'm the Humanoid Typhoon."  
  
"You! YOU?!" Butcher looked at Vash and laughed. "I never could've imagined the Humanoid Typhoon was good with children." The four other members of the party laughed with him.  
  
"Shut up!" Boss called out to his men and they abruptly stopped. "You say you're the legendary gunman?"  
  
"I did." Was all Vash said and he glanced at Meryl again. She seemed fine, except she looked mad at him and slightly less mad at Boss and his gang. Figures Meryl would be mad at him for saving her life and the privacy of her shrine.  
  
"Well, how 'bout we have a little test, then? Just to make sure." Boss asked and slowly stepped toward him. Vash nodded again, his face serious. "A showdown? Will that work for you Mr. Stampede? Humanoid Typhoon? Legendary gunman? What would you like me to call you?"  
  
"Vash is fine," Vash said stiffly, an anger he had never felt before boiled inside him. Was it because Meryl's life was on the line? It couldn't be, could it? He shook his head slightly to clear his thoughts, he would figure that out later. "A showdown? Sounds good."  
  
Now Boss was standing right in front of Vash and he smiled. "We'll turn around and on five the first to hit the other wins."  
  
"I know how a showdown works." Vash said coldly. "You can do the honors."  
  
Boss chuckled and turned around, and Vash followed suit. When both their backs were to each other Boss called out, "ONE!"  
  
Both Vash and Boss held their guns to their chest and took a step forward. "TWO!"  
  
Again another step. "THREE!"  
  
Boss turned around quickly and aimed for Vash's head and shot. He didn't notice that Vash leaned to the left side escaping the bullet's piercing.  
  
"Sorry Vash, I always did have a special liking towards the number three." He laughed evilly and pocketed his gun.  
  
"You know, Boss." Vash slowly turned around, using the word Boss like a swear word. "In showdowns, most people don't aim for the head because it's usually the smallest part of the body, and since in showdowns most people don't aim. But you've got such a big head it gives to much oxygen to your already too small brain and messes up your thinking. Because since you cheated, you should've realized that you had the time to aim, if you even can."  
  
Boss let out an angry yell and took his gun out and fired the five shots left in his first gun and the six bullets in his second gun. His gun pointed right at Vash's chest and most looked away not willing to see the blood that would soon follow.  
  
"Vash!" Meryl yelled frightened. "Ki-Kitty?" A small voice called out desparatly. Vash took a glance at Meryl who was released from Butcher's grip as Butcher slowly inched toward Boss. Then Vash took a glance at Nikki to find her in the comfort of Milly's arms crying but still looking at Vash.  
  
Vash raised his gun and shot Boss in the left shoulder, making sure not to hit any vital organs or places that would kill him.  
  
Meryl sighed in relief after noticing Vash was still alive and well. Nikki cried harder and buried her head in her mother's neck.  
  
"Let's get out of here!" Boss yelled frightened to his gang and they quickly agreed and jumped in the vehicle they came in and took off towards the entrance of town.  
  
By now the Town Square was deserted except for Vash, Meryl, Milly, Nikki, and Jetch.  
  
Vash slouched uncomfortably his cut in his right side throbbing as he made his way towards Milly, Nikki, and Jetch. Meryl headed there slowly also.  
  
"Nikki?" Vash called, his cold and serious voice vanished and it was warm good ol' Vash. Nikki whimpered and tried to pull Milly closer. "Nikki it's me."  
  
Milly looked apologetically at Vash as she tried to soothe her daughter.  
  
"You...you..." Jetch glared coldly at Vash and he stumbled back. "You're the reason my parents are dead! You...you killed them in Augusta!"  
  
Vash took a couple more steps backwards and whispered brokenly, "I'm...sorry."  
  
He turned and ran as tears sprung to his eyes. Everyone was always hurt because of him. The ones he loved always suffered. He wouldn't hurt them anymore, he would disappear so the people he loved would be free to live their lives safely.  
  
"Vash!" Meryl called ahead of him as he passed her still running. "They don't know you're not really like that!" She called desperately.  
  
No, even if they didn't know he didn't mean to kill those people, that it wasn't his fault. He still did it. Hell, he had killed his brother! He couldn't stop bad things happening to those he loved, even if he just met them he always ended up hurting them in some way.  
  
He wasn't going to let it happen again, he couldn't. Things were bound to change if he just kept moving. So he would wander still, even though he had found friends that cared about him. He would show them he cared, by letting them live. He wouldn't allow them to be hurt anymore.  
  
He would wander till no one remembered his bounty. He would wander till people had thought he had died off. He would let the ones he love be safe. He wasn't going to be the reason they got hurt.  
  
He wasn't going to allow himself to hurt them anymore.  
  
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.  
  
"Thank you for saving me Vash..." Meryl whispered to the wind as once again, like many a time before, Vash disappeared into the horizon.  
  
Author's Note- Long enough? I like it, how about all you? Please R&R!!! 


	3. Chapter 2

Author's Note- Hey my peeps! LOL Srry it's been sooooo long! I had several reports and projects due sigh and a while back I had to reboot my CPU and I have been trying to get everything back to how it was. My spell checking no longer works, so I'm really srry for any grammar mistakes. Anyways let's just get on with it  
  
I found out that in the manga Vash has a part of his hair black. I've never read the manga, just seen the anime so I'm not sure if this is true. Anyways, now Vash will have the back of his head black-haired.  
  
P.S.- The character Kouki is my own character and I love her personality and so anyways I was just saying she belongs to yours truly! .  


  
  
Love Is Complicated  
  
  
By: Cobalt-eyedAngel   
  
"A choice between two things. The forked road, a crossroad are an end given life must take in order to stay alive. Which ever end they live on, they lose something. Which ever end they live on, they are unable to find happiness, but are there really only two paths to a forked road? No, there are infinite paths we must take. There is more than one path. There is more than one path to the future."  
  
.....................................................................................................  
  
"Just a ticket please." A lonesome figure told a woman of the age of about forty.  
  
"A ticket, eh? What would a young some lad like you want to go to Neptila for?" The woman eyed him suspiciously. Not many people lived in Neptila, it was practically deserted.  
  
"A quiet home for me ma'am." Vash smiled at her. His duffel bag was swung over his shoulder and he shook the woman's frail hand. "I have been living in the big city all my life and now I wish for a quiet peaceful way to spend the rest of my life."  
  
"Right." The woman smiled at him. "My name is Becky Salina."  
  
"Nice to meet you, thank you for the ticket." Vash stepped on to the train and put his duffel bag in an above compartment. It was a long way to Neptila, it would probably take a whole week to get there.  
  
He went to his cabin, cabin 176, and took a seat. He looked out the window at a few more passengers boarding.  
  
"Mr....Um, sorry, but I think this is my cabin." A small girl's voice got his attention. Vash looked up and saw a cute 13 year old girl with blonde hair and it had brown streaks. She was wearing a small red dress that was at one time fancy but it looked like it hadn't been cleaned in a while.  
  
"Oh, really?" Vash looked at the number of the cabin to see the exact same number on his ticket. "It has my number on the cabin."  
  
"Oh, no." The small girl bit her bottom lip and double checked her ticket. "Sorry to bother you, but am I reading my ticket right?" She held out her ticket to Vash.  
  
"Hmmm." Vash looked at her ticket and saw that it had his cabin number too. "Yeah, that's right. I guess you're my roommate!" He smiled at her and gave her ticket back to her.  
  
"Alright mister, if you don't mind." She smiled back at him and sat in a seat across from his. "My name is Kouki...err, I don't know my last name." Her eyes clouded for a second, but then her smile returned. For a second, Vash thought he was seeing things.  
  
"My name is Va-" He paused for a second, he wanted this girl to know the truth, he couldn't lie anymore, if she wanted to leave because she was frightened, he would let her. He coughed to make it sound like he didn't mean to interrupt. "Sorry, Vash."  
  
"Vash!" The little girl's eyes lit up and she looked through her small bag that was around her shoulder. "That's who my bear is named after! Are you named after The Stampede too?" She brought out of her bag a small bear that was brown with a white bow around its neck. "His name is Vashie! He is my very, very best friend!"  
  
Vash was taken aback. This girl had named a bear after him, she wasn't afraid of him?  
  
"Umm. Err, I don't think I'm named after anybody. Why did you name him after The Humanoid Typhoon?" Vash asked.  
  
"He is my favorite person in the whole world!" The little girl jumped up as if she couldn't just tell this story sitting down. "When I was a hundre- uh, nine years old he saved my part time home from the Shelbys. Even though everyone says he is bad and evil, I think he is truly good. Perhaps, he was confused or scared when he killed those people. But I believe, everyone deserves a second, or third, or however many chances that they need. I think everyone has good in them."  
  
Vash looked at the girl for a long time as she was playing with her bear, Vashie. This girl knew so much, and what was that age change about? "I-I believe you are right." He responded after a long while. There was something about this girl, like she knew him as deep as family.  
  
"Come on Milly!" A familiar woman's voice caught his attention. "I'm almost sure he is on this train!"  
  
"Oh, no." Vash sighed as he caught sight of Meryl, Milly, Nikki, and Jetch.  
  
"Is the black-haired girl your girlfriend? Is that why you want to get away, your feelings are getting complicated?" Kouki suddenly popped up, her head right above his shoulder while they both looked out the window.  
  
"Meryl? She's not my girlfriend." A light blush appeared on Vash's cheeks. Kouki was sure to notice, but she didn't say anything about it. "But I can't let her see me. It's...It's hard to explain."  
  
"Ok, just sit back and relax. If any of them decide to search around, we'll hide you." Kouki said and took a seat. Vash followed her example.  
  
And of course, Vash's luck decided to, once again, be unkind to him. Meryl and the others were in the cabin right across from his.  
  
After about ten minutes of yelling and banging luggage, Meryl stepped out of her cabin that she shared with the others, and sighed. She stood in the narrow hallway for a minute, Vash stealthily peeking through the small cabin door window, and she turned and looked right at our cabin door.  
  
Vash jerked his head back and whispered to Kouki. "I think she is coming this way!" Kouki looked up at him from her book and nodded. "I'll hide." He frantically searched the cabin for any hiding spots when his eyes fell to where he had just been sitting. More exactly, 'underneath' where he had just been sitting.  
  
Vash got down on his hands and knees and crawled under the seat, he was a bit cramped, but he could see Kouki's face and she could see his. He heard a light knock on the door and Kouki responded with a "come in."  
  
Meryl came in and smiled at Kouki. "Hello, um, my name is Meryl and I was wondering if I could hang out in here for a while, 'cause my cabin is a bit crazy." Meryl laughed.  
  
Vash looked at Kouki and shook his head 'no' but Kouki smiled and said sure.  
  
"Is this someone's stuff?" Meryl sat down on the seat Vash was hiding under and looked at the duffel bag.  
  
"Yep!" Kouki chirped happily.  
  
"Ok, what's your name?" Meryl smiled at Kouki again.  
  
"Kouki. I'm traveling the world till I find a place I truly belong. What are you doing?" She asked.  
  
"Looking for somebody. Are you alone, all by yourself?" Worry was in Meryl's voice, and he was really surprised. He barely ever heard Meryl with a compassionate voice. Probably because he was always getting her upset.  
  
"I'm an orphan. I remember my parents, but I don't want anyone to replace them so I don't want parents." Kouki looked down at her tightly clasped hands. There was a lot Vash didn't understand about this girl.  
  
"I'm sorry. But just because you have foster parents doesn't mean that will replace your real parents. No one can ever replace anyone. Every living thing is unique and they have their own personality. They may have certain aspects that are the same, but your foster parents just want to take care of you." Meryl said and Kouki's lower lip started to tremble and Meryl got up from Vash's seat and rushed to Kouki's.  
  
"Hey, hey, it's alright, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have kept bugging you about it." Kouki's tears escaped and she lunged for Meryl. Vash wanted to help her too, but everyone he tried to help always got hurt.  
  
"Shh, shh, there now." Meryl hugged Kouki and stroked her hair comfortingly.  
  
Right there. It happened again. Vash wanted to jump up and tell Meryl that he loved her. He didn't want to hold it in anymore. He tried to find his voice, and then got a flash of a girl.  
  
Rem.  
  
What would she think of Meryl? Would she care? Would she be hurt that I had feelings for someone else? No, I still had feelings for her too. I couldn't confess to Meryl if I still have feelings for Rem. Which one did I love more? Ugh, it was all too confusing.  
  
By the time I returned my thoughts to the scene in front of me, I saw Kouki asleep in Meryl's arms.  
  
Meryl was still stroking Kouki's hair, but now she was looking around the small cabin. All of a sudden her eyes fell on Vash's form. Vash didn't say anything and just stared at her. Maybe she would think he was an illusion.  
  
Meryl blinked a couple of times, the rest of her body still and called out timidly. "Vash?"  
  
Vash couldn't contain his laughter any longer and burst out. Meryl glared at him and hissed in a whisper. "Shut up! She's asleep!"  
  
Vash remembered Kouki was sleeping and stopped but still had a smile on his face. "Why did you follow me?"  
  
Meryl hesitated for a moment and then responded. "The town...the town kicked us out...be-because..." Meryl looked at him with remorse in her eyes. "Because we are friends of yours."  
  
Vash felt guilt flood him again and his smile was wiped off his face. "I'm sorry. I'm ruining all your lives." He took a seat on the one he had sat on earlier.  
  
"Vash...We aren't sorry for being your friends. Milly and I, we understand that you wouldn't hurt a soul."  
  
"But I do!" Vash brought his hands to his face and hunched over. "I always hurt people, even if I don't want to. It happens, and I can't control it."  
  
Meryl didn't know what to say, so she was silent.  
  
"It happens to us all." Kouki's voice rang through the cabin and Meryl and Vash looked at her.  
  
"What?"  
  
"We all hurt people. Physically or emotionally, we always end up hurting our friends or the people we love. It's unstoppable. It's apart of life, happiness doesn't come easily and when it does sorrow and sadness follows it." Kouki said looking directly at Vash.  
  
"Then if I don't have any friends, no harm can come to them."  
  
"Your stupid then." Kouki said. "I-I have a secret..."  
  
Author's Note- Ok, I have so much I want to type but I have to get there first. Don't you hate that? Where you have the ending but you're just starting the beginning. Anyways, I just wanted to get this chapter up.  
  
I have several surprises here's a hint at a few-  
  
Why Knives hates humans  
  
Who Kouki really is  
  
A few things about Vash's parents  
  
Why Rem was the one to take care of Vash and Knives  
  
Ok Whelps Hopefully my next update will be soon! WOULD ANYONE LIKE TO BE MY BETA READER? I'VE NEVER HAD ONE BEFORE, SO IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO COULD YOU EXPLAIN HOW WE DO THINGS? THANKS!! Ja ne. 


	4. Chapter 3

Author's Note- Hey! Ok I don't have much to say, so let's just get on with it.  
  
Love Is Complicated  
  
By: Cobalt-eyedAngel  
  
"Repeated tragedies, repeated pain, the wishes of man are so strong and yet so frail and weak. To live, to stay alive, who would have known survival was this hard...this painful? I must choose. I must make the choice, in the moment that intertwines life and death. Can I choose to remain a human?"  
  
.......................................................................................................  
  
"I really like you two, and I think before you decide to stay with me and be my friends, that you should know my secret." Kouki took a breath. "I'm not of this Earth-"  
  
"None of us our." Vash interrupted. "Oh, sorry, go ahead."  
  
"What I mean is, I'm not human."  
  
Vash's eyes widened a bit.  
  
"I'm a hybrid plant alien." Kouki wasn't looking at either Vash or Meryl and she kept taking gulps of air. "My mother and father gave me to a friend working for a project called Project Seeds. They wanted me to live on Paradise, so they froze me and then they left me in the care of their friend, Rem."  
  
"Rem?" Vash choked out. This girl...was just like him?  
  
"Rem Saverem." Kouki nodded then looked up at Vash.  
  
"You both are the same." Meryl finally spoke up, looking back and forth between Vash and Kouki.  
  
"The same?" Kouki questioned.  
  
"Vash is also a plant. And he knew Rem Saverem, and he was aboard the Seeds ship." Meryl explained.  
  
"You! You're a plant too? Just like me?" Kouki's eyes lit up and she stared wonderingly at Vash.  
  
"Yeah." Vash said still in a daze. Kouki was just like him and...Knives. But I killed Knives... Vash winced and then smiled at Kouki's bright face. "How old are you?"  
  
"One hundred and twenty-one." Kouki chirped. "How old are you?"  
  
"One hundred and thirty-three." Vash said then yawned. "I'm going to bed." By now the train had started and it was almost dark. But his brain was too full and his muscles ached from all the walking. He hadn't traveled in a long time.  
  
"Me too!" Kouki was still happy, that Vash doubted she would be able to sleep.  
  
"I'm going to go check on Milly and the others." Meryl said and got up. "Night Kouki." And she smiled at the girl. She walked out of the room and let the door close quietly behind her.  
  
"I like her." Kouki said looking at me. It was weird, her stare, like she cold tell exactly what I was thinking just by looking into my eyes. I wish she could tell me, because I was so cluttered I didn't know what to think.  
  
Vash was silent, not knowing what to say, so Kouki kept talking. "She sort of reminds me of my mom. But I can tell she has a fierce side to her, like my daddy."  
  
"Tell me about your family. Any siblings?" Vash said trying to get the subject off Meryl.  
  
"Two brothers, actually I'm looking for them. My mother and Daddy told me to find them and we can help create paradise with the humans, and we can all live in peace. They were on the ship, not frozen like me, their twins too. One is named Knives...and the other...hmmm, I can't remember." Kouki furrowed her brow in thought.  
  
"Me!" I leapt up with joy and she gave me a puzzled look. "I'm your brother! I'm a plant, I was awake on the Project Seeds, and I have a twin named Knives!"  
  
"You!" She now also leapt up into a big hug. "Big brother! I've missed you so much, now we can create paradise with the humans!"  
  
Meryl walked in a shut the door behind us. "Um. Sorry, Am I interrupting something?"  
  
"Insurance girl! Meet my sister!" Vash said happily, tears streaming down his face.  
  
"Meryl! Meet my big Brother!" Kouki said equally as happy, but her face was dry.  
  
Meryl smiled at them with an 'I knew it!' look. "That's nice. I could see the resemblance. Well, we should get some rest." She shook out her sleeping bag and unraveled it on the floor.  
  
"No! Take Vash's bed! Big brother, how could you let a young lady sleep on the floor?!" Kouki said glaring at Vash.  
  
"No! That's okay! This isn't even my cabin, I'm just in here because it's full in my cabin." Meryl explained.  
  
"It's alright. I've slept worse places." Vash said crawling inside of Meryl's sleeping bag.  
  
"Hey! You idiot! That's my sleeping bag that I'm going to be sleeping in." Meryl glared at him. Vash pretended to snore and then he rolled over and drooled. "Hey! Don't drool in my sleeping bag!"  
  
"Don't worry," Kouki smiled at Meryl and the way Vash was acting. "Goodnight Meryl, goodnight big brother!"  
  
"Night little sis!" Vash said then went back to snoring.  
  
Meryl climbed into Vash's made bed and settled down. She hit Vash upside the head and he stopped snoring. "Stupid." She couldn't help but smile, and was glad the lights were off.  
  
"Damn...abusive...woman..." Vash mumbled. He smiled and sniffed the pillow his head was lying on. It smelt like Vanilla and watered rose petals. Meryl...  
  
Author's Note- Srry if this took a long time, but I have Writer's Block on this story!! AHH! So my update might take a while. My apologies. Review! 


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